My amazing mother-in-law, Kathleen "Kathy" Fox, lost her battle with cancer on October 22, 2011, just hours before my two sons and I arrived in Chicago to be with her. My husband, his father, and his sister were present with Kathy when, mercifully and peacefully, she drew her final breath as she slept. We miss her greatly.
Kathy, "Grandma", was my oldest son’s biggest fan. They had such great affection and admiration for each other. She really "got" him - his personality, his needs - and oh, how he loved to perform for her! I am so sad that those performances were short numbered.
Guiding a six-year-old through loss and grief is no easy task. His kindergarten teacher and a family friend who's an expert in childhood development encouraged us to speak frankly with Brayden, listen for his cues, and satisfy his curiosities without "over" discussing anything. Wise words.
As parents, we try to protect our kids from harm. Sometimes, parents attempt to protect their kids from grief/sadness. But, grief is not harmful. Sadness is a natural and necessary feeling. I believe the children who feel most short-changed in this process are the ones who are shielded from (or even denied access to) the grieving process.
On the day Grandma died, my husband, sons, and I took a walk on the Illinois Prairie Path - a favorite pastime of Grandma's. Brayden asked, "What was Grandma's favorite flower? I'd like to plant her favorite flower to remember her by."
Brayden took these photos while we were on that walk. His natural sense of artistic composition thrills me. His tender heart delights me. And I am confident that his grandmother's sense of adventure, her love of nature, and her championing of the underdog will live on in her oldest grandson.
Kathy, "Grandma", was my oldest son’s biggest fan. They had such great affection and admiration for each other. She really "got" him - his personality, his needs - and oh, how he loved to perform for her! I am so sad that those performances were short numbered.
Guiding a six-year-old through loss and grief is no easy task. His kindergarten teacher and a family friend who's an expert in childhood development encouraged us to speak frankly with Brayden, listen for his cues, and satisfy his curiosities without "over" discussing anything. Wise words.
As parents, we try to protect our kids from harm. Sometimes, parents attempt to protect their kids from grief/sadness. But, grief is not harmful. Sadness is a natural and necessary feeling. I believe the children who feel most short-changed in this process are the ones who are shielded from (or even denied access to) the grieving process.
On the day Grandma died, my husband, sons, and I took a walk on the Illinois Prairie Path - a favorite pastime of Grandma's. Brayden asked, "What was Grandma's favorite flower? I'd like to plant her favorite flower to remember her by."
Brayden took these photos while we were on that walk. His natural sense of artistic composition thrills me. His tender heart delights me. And I am confident that his grandmother's sense of adventure, her love of nature, and her championing of the underdog will live on in her oldest grandson. 
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